Transparency and Leaders Will to Create a Culture of Candor

23 01 2015

There is no diplomacy like candor.     E.V.Lucas

A culture of transparency and candor is a must for every organisation.

From their vital book; “Transparency” —Warren Bennis, Daniel Goleman and Jim O’Toole addresses us with the vital question whether organizations have the courage to be open, honest and most of all, transparent.

The writers make us aware that claiming to be transparent is not the same as actually being transparent. You may believe in transparency without practicing it.

Warren Bennis gives us this definition of being transparent; “It means, in addition to the literal ‘capable of being seen through’, without guile or concealment; open, frank, candid”.

When companies cover up their mistakes instead of learning from them, they will probably do the same another time. Author’s; “But any time an organization makes a seriously wrong decision, its leader should call for an intensive postmortem. Such learning opportunities are too often overlooked”.

The Ten Golden Rules of Leadership, is a book written by, M.A. Soupios and Panos Mourdoukoutas. The book implements thought-provoking ideas from Aristotle, Heraclitus, Sophocles, Hesiod and others.

I have chosen rule 5; Always Embrace the Truth  —–Antisthenes. Authors; “Wise leaders, the men and women who possess genuine insight about administrative life, understand that honest assessment is an essential requirement of effective leadership. However, there seems to be an inverse correlation between level of authority and level of truth. In other words, the higher up the corporate ladder an executive ascends, the less likely it is that person will receive complete and accurate evaluation”

When climbing the corporate ladder, leaders makes the distance to the subordinates to evaluate them harder. They often have their own agenda and is not always sharing their information with their colleagues. “Encouraging to whatever degree such submissiveness on the part of subordinates jeopardizes the welfare of both the organization and the leader”.

Going back to the book on transparency, and let us see what Bennis, Goleman and O’Toole have to say on this important subject. The author’s are signalizing that wise leaders are engaged and close to the actions. “There’s a compelling reason to become more open to information from people at every level; those close to the action usually know more about what’s actually going on with clients, with production or customer service, than those on the floors. ( There’s truth to the maxim, “None of us is as smart as all of us” )

Leaders who cares about a good culture in their organizations, develop a culture of candor. Author’s; “Before an organization can develop a culture of candor, it must examine the cultural rules that currently govern it. Such cultural rules run deep and they typically resist change”.

Leaders need to take action if they want information to flow freely in the organization and in that case be the one who set good examples. “If leaders regularly demonstrate that they want to hear more than incessant happy talk, and praise those with the courage to articulate unpleasant truths, then the norm will begin to shift toward transparency”.

Lead with Humility, written by Jeffrey Krames, translates the pope’s key ideas and practices into practical tactics that anyone can emulate. Krames, emphasize’s Pope Francis great leadership style as a good example for anyone who wants to connect in a meaningful way with employees, teammates and customers for their organization. “He believes that authentic humility empowers leaders like no other leadership quality. “If we can develop a truly humble attitude, we can change the world”, wrote Bergoglio before becoming pope. And he misses no opportunity to show that a person can never be too humble and that people can learn to be more humble. In doing so, he has altered the standards by which we measure our leaders”.

Here are the Pope’s key ideas;

Remove the walls-literally-between yourself and your employees.

-Enlist your executives to join you each year at the front desk or in the delivery truck.

-Consider all points of view, and make decisions in consultation-not as snap judgements.

-Focus on enhancing people’s strengths, not fixing their weaknesses.

-Break the habit of doing things the same old way, and reinvent ineffective process.

-Communicate with everyone, at every level of the organization.

-Surround yourself with truth-tellers-no matter how painful it is to hear.

-Shake up the status quo and get out of your comfort zone.

 Hope is the only good that is common to all men, those who have nothing else possess hope still  —–Thales

Writer,

Inger Lise E Greger/MSc Change Management

https://inger-lise.net/page/2/





The Challenge About Trust.

7 01 2015

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live —-Johan Wolfgang Goethe

“Can you trust a virtual avatar ? A Robot ?An unknown person on Facebook ? How trust works in a world of rapid technological advancement and virtual interaction — a world where the science of trust can be manipulated and used for good or ill”.

Responsibilities are given to him on whom trust rests. Responsibility is always a sign of trust —-James Cash Penney

‘The Truth About Trust’, is an interesting book about how we think about trust, but also how we understand, communicate and make decisions in every area of our life. Psychologist David De Steno, makes us aware of how trust influences us at every level and at every stage of life.

We all have the need to trust and be trusted. The writer makes us aware that the need to trust implies the fundamental fact, that we are all vulnerable. “The ability to satisfy your needs or obtain the outcomes you desire is not entirely under your control. Whether a business partner embezzles profits that doom your corporation, a spouse has an affair that wrecks your marriage, or a supposed confidant tweets a personal factoid that ruins your reputation, your well-being, like it or not, often depends on the cooperation of others”.

In trust we have great benefits and great risks. “We rely on it to find a path to success – a path that, for humans, often necessitates the cooperation, of others”.

De Steno, makes us aware that if we place trust the right way, it engenders success in learning, in intimate relationships , in building social networks, and, in reality, in most every interpersonal endeavour that requires joint action. However, placed incorrectly, failure awaits.

In communication, both verbal and nonverbal, the purpose is to pass information to someone else. “To understand why trust is different, consider the following. Imagine you possessed an easily detectable and unambiguous signal that indicated you were trustworthy – say a giant letter T on your forehead. What would happen ? Everyone, and I mean everyone, would want you as a partner. But with this popularity would come one big problem: many of those desiring to partner with you might not be trustworthy themselves. They’d know you’d be easy to exploit; unlike them, you’d always hold up your end of the deal. In the end, you’d lose everything you had, you’d be popular but poor”.

Body language is not always giving the signals we think it is. The author gives us an example of a person leaning away which indicates a hidden desire to avoid or otherwise distance oneself from an interaction partner. De Steno;”That may well be true at times. But if you’re looking to identify untrustworthy individuals based solely on body orientations, lots of people with bad backs are going to be labeled as threats”.

Good examples on how wrong we may perceive peoples body language. “A man feeling its leg thinks the elephant is a pillar. Another feeling its tail thinks it’s a rope. A third feeling it’s tusk thinks the elephant is a pipe. You get the idea”. Let us take a closer look on how the author explain; “If we’re not looking at cues as sets in a specific context, we’re likely to miss the forest for the trees. If we’re looking for trust in single micro-expressions or out of context, we won’t see it at all”.

The nonverbal behaviour mostly occurs outside our awareness which according to the  author, means that people are almost constantly emitting cues without knowing it. “And if they’re not aware they’re doing something, how in the world are we going to make them control it ? Training them to be aware doesn’t really work”.

Leaders who show trust to their people are in return trusted by them.

Through his book; On Becoming a Leader, Warren Bennis, makes us aware of the importance of trust between leaders and co-workers. “Leadership without mutual trust is a contradiction in terms. Trust resides squarely between faith and doubt”.

Bennis, tells us that leaders always have faith in themselves, their co-workers, their abilities as well as their mutual possibilities. “But leaders also have sufficient doubt to question, challenge, probe, and thereby progress. Bennis;”In the same way, his or her co-workers must believe in the leader, themselves, and their combined strength, but they must feel sufficiently confident to question, challenge, probe, and test too”. A primary task for every leader is to maintain that vital balance between faith and doubt, preserving that mutual trust.

De Steno, tells us that when we are being trustworthy, it is not only about being fair and honest when dealing with other people who is depending on you, it also involves being competent. Meaning from an evolutionary perspective, have the ability to know whether other people is capable of helping you, is as important as knowing whether or not they’ll choose to actually do it.

“Unlike signals related to fairness and loyalty, however, subtlety isn’t quite as important for signals of competence. Although broad casting a willingness to cooperate might be risky before you know whether a potential partner is similarly inclined, signalling competency poses no similar peril. To the contrary, the only purpose it serves is to demonstrate one’s desirability as a partner or leader upon whom others can rely”.

The question here is not about the pride and feelings of competence is doing for the people experiencing them, according to De Steno, it is about how these feelings send signals of trustworthiness to other people. “Wisdom comes from knowing when and why to rely on reason or intuition – from knowing the strengths and weaknesses of each. The case of trust is no different”.

True intuitive expertise is learned from prolonged experience with good feedback on mistakes —-Daniel Kahneman

Writer,

Inger Lise E Greger/Master of Science in Change Management

https://inger-lise.net/page/2/





Leaders Mental Challenges

18 09 2014

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader”    —   John Quincy Adams

From one of his books, Richard L Daft, speaks of every leaders six mental mistakes; reacting too quickly, inflexible thinking, wanting control, emotional avoidance and attention, exaggerating the future and chasing the wrong gratifications.

“Kings, heads of government, and corporate executives have control over thousands of people and endless resources, but often do not have mastery over themselves. From a distance, larger-than-life leaders may look firmly in control of their business and their personal behavior ? What about up close ? Personal mastery is a difficult thing.”   (Daft, 2010)

Leadership is all about ‘people stuff’. A key element of a leader is to set goals and create performance indicators. The employees should be empowered to solve problems and achieve results. This will enable innovation and create trust. A prerequisite of a leader’s, is an open dialogue with their employees to clarify what goals are, and equally important, what they are not. Open communication will help visualize the expectancy the leader has of the employees and avoid misunderstandings.

Life can be challenging, in all of its aspects. The question is how we choose to face these challenges in order to reach our goals.

When Daft speaks of every leader’s six mental mistakes, he use metaphors. The metaphor Daft use for our two selves or parts are the executive and the elephant. He illustrates this by referring to as the inner executive and the inner elephant. “The inner executive is our higher consciousness, our own CEO so to speak. Visualize an executive riding on a large elephant, attending to control it, with legs dangling on either side of the elephant’s neck. The inner elephant symbolizes the strength of unconscious systems and habits”.

Daft makes us aware of the importance of being able to lead yourself first, which may lead you to become a great leader of your people. By leading yourself means seeing, understanding, mastering and leading your unconscious but powerful inner elephant. “You can appreciate that bringing your two selves into alignment and learning to be the master of your own behavior would have a terrific leadership payoff in satisfaction, inner peace, impact, and productivity”.  (Daft, 2010)

Let us take a closer look at; the six mental mistakes.

Reacting too quickly.

Patience, is a key word here, and be able to hold back instant reactions. “You have to be patient enough and make sure that you always remain calm”.  (Daft, 2010) Sometimes leaders have a tendency to overreact because their point seemed urgent, which can easily lead to interruption of someone. “Instant reactions often feel urgent, which makes the impulse hard to control. If you feel that urgency, when you were a child your inner elephant probably wanted to eat the marshmallow”.

By slowing down your reaction, it will lead to produce a better response. Daft mentions Robert Iger, who is CEO of Disney, he makes us aware of an important leadership lesson he learned, which was to “manage reaction time better. What I mean by that is not overreacting to things that are said to me because sometimes it’s easy to do”.

Inflexible thinking.

Our gut feelings is difficult to change. If we are convinced of something, good or bad, yes or no, we have a tendency to stick with our beliefs. “Once the inner elephant jumps to a conclusion about something, it typically does not like to change its mind. Your inner magician and attorney will fill in any needed details and defend against competing views. Why? To maintain your sense of well-being, prevent or reduce psychological pain, and let you feel good about yourself. Once your inner elephant settles on a viewpoint or belief, it resists, it resists letting go”   (Daft, 2010)

Wanting control.

People tend to have a desire for control. Managers don’t like to give away control. Daft tells us that many managers need to learn to give away control, managers think it is more efficient for them to keep their control. “If your inner elephant micromanages other people, your satisfaction will be at their expense” (Daft, 2010)

The author tells us that everyone’s inner elephant wants to be in control and is happier when in control. The key is to activate their inner executive to give control to others.

Emotional avoidance and attraction.

Avoidance.

Our emotions plays with us. In times we are aware of tasks we have to perform, or deadlines coming up, but can not fulfill the task. This is procrastination. To procrastinate means to; “delay an intended course of action despite expecting to be worse off delay. You do not want to delay, but do it anyway, because your inner elephant resists more strongly than your intention”.

Daft, makes us aware that the resistance to the task symbolizes something from your past which triggers modest anxiety even when your inner elephant wants to avoid it.

Attraction.

We all have dreams and desires, which is important for having a good life. However, strong attractions, such as the need for perfection, may lead to problems for managers. Managers may also feel the need to act on their unthinking desire always to be right rather than let other people shine, to perpetually find fault with other people’s ideas, to win every disagreement, to blame others when something goes wrong despite being culpable, or to speak harshly when upset”.  (Daft, 2010)

Exaggerating the future.

Why do we have a tendency to exaggerate the future ?

Simply put, when we are attracted to a task, we are optimistically to the results, and doesn’t see any problems. “When the inner elephant is attracted to a future outcome, it overoptimistically anticipates good results and underestimates potential difficulties, so it fails to see the problems ahead”.  (Daft, 2010)

The same is happening when everything looks hopeless. “When the inner elephant dislikes or wants to avoid an outcome, it will pessimistically see more difficulties and problems than will actually occur”. (Daft, 2010)

However, when you start working with the ‘terrible task’, it wasn’t that bad at all.

Chasing the wrong gratifications.

Sometimes we are going in the wrong direction. If your work is only about money and fame, then you are chasing the wrong gratification. “The inner elephant loves the temporary good feeling that goes with external rewards, whether in the form of a trip, plaque, promotion or more money.

If you are passionate about your work, the work will feel easier and happier. ” The inner elephant can chase money into infinity, acquire luxury goods beyond imagination, and never experience the joy of performing a task just for pleasure. That is why the adage ‘Love what you do and the money will follow’.

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.   —  Charles Spurgeon

Written by

Inger Lise E Greger, Master of Science in Change Management

https://inger-lise.net/page/2/

 

 





Hva kan vi lære av Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” i Dagens Organisasjoner.

13 03 2014

Hva kan vi lære av Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” i Dagens Organisasjoner..





Hva kan vi lære av Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” i Dagens Organisasjoner.

10 03 2014

Ingerleg's Blogg

“Know your enemy and know yourself and you  can fight a hundred battles without disaster”.

The ‘Art of War’ er en bok som demonstrerer  hvordan du kan vinne uten konflikter. Denne boken ble en realitet da Sun Tzu ble spurt av kongen Wu, Ho Lu om å komponere et verk om krigens visdom.

Sun Tzu levde for 2500 år siden i Nord Kina. Han antas å ha vært en strålende militær strateg, hvor av hans berømte bok ‘The Art of War’ gjenspeiler hans ideer og militære taktikk for å vinne kamper.

Tom Butler – Bowdon (B.B), trekker fram nyttige leksjoner for ledere og bedriftsledere som framhever kraften i Sun Tzu’s tenkning til bruk i hverdagen.

B.B refererer: Virkningen av ‘The Art of War’ på krigføring i Kina kan sammenlignes med Machiavellis ‘The Prince’ på politikken i Europa og Vesten.

Sun Tzu illustrerer at det er mulig å erobre med et…

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Understanding Moral Intelligence and Values.

16 01 2014

In our lives we have chosen our own moral compass.

In our world we meet with people from different cultures and values.

In organizations people with different needs and values has to work and relate to each other. Organizations will not survive the test of time without strong values.

Leaders who actively apply moral values to achieve enduring success, makes their companies great. “For today’s leaders, it is even more clear that moral competence is not a nice to have , it is a must have”.

Compassion is the basis of morality.     Arthur Schopenhauer.

Through my reading of the book; Moral Intelligence, my eyes opened towards the importance of a leaders responsibility and understanding of the people in the organizations. However, we should not take for granted that every leader is capable of understanding moral intelligence, but those who do and involves has a passion for their people show’s their ability of being moral intelligent.

About the authors of this important book; Doug Lennick, works as CEO of Lennick Aberman Group, in addition he works directly with the CEO of Ameriprise Financial, retaining the EVP title and focusing on workforce culture and performance.

Fred Kiel, PH.D; often called ‘father of executive coaching’ because of his pioneering work is cofounder of KRW, International, Inc. He has 30 year’s experience with Fortune 500 executives on building organizational effectiveness through leadership excellence.

The third contributing author; Kathy Jordan who is a psychologist, coach, writer, editor and consultant highly regarded for her inventive and practical approaches to managing strategic change and enhancing business performance.

Moral intelligence is the key-element through this book and the authors show how greater moral intelligence can lead to higher trust and engagement, but also retention and innovation.

Author’s; “The best leaders think we, not I “. They are quite simply, good people who consistently  tap into their inborn disposition to be moral. They follow a moral compass – even when it’s tempting not to”. Also they believe in honesty and see themselves and others. These great leaders are capable of sharing common moral values. ” They show compassion for their fellow humans and know how to forgive others – and just as important – themselves”.

When the author’s are talking about moral intelligence, they describe it as new for the playing field. “Just as emotional intelligence and cognitive intelligence are different from one another, moral intelligence is another distinct intelligence”. Moral intelligence describes our personal values, goals, and actions.

Leaders need to be aware of what the author’s call differentiating competencies. Moral intelligence and emotional intelligence are two types of intelligence. The challenge to many corporate leaders is to understand these ‘soft skills’ and see the differentiating.

Daniel Goleman’s books on emotional intelligence, makes us aware of the importance of emotional skills to corporate leaders.

From his book; Focus, The Hidden Driver of  Excellence, Goleman say; ” Empathy in its many forms from simple listening to reading the paths of influence in an organization, shows up more often in leadership competence studies. Most of the competencies for high – performing leaders fall into a more visible category that builds on empathy: relationship strengths like influence and persuasion, teamwork and cooperation, and the like”.

Goleman makes us aware of the importance on managing ourselves and sensing how what we do affects others.

The authors from the book; Moral Intelligence, makes us aware of four principles they think are important and vital for sustained personal and organizational success: integrity, responsibility, compassion and forgiveness.

Integrity.

The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty.   Zig Ziglar

Integrity is a key-element of a morally intelligent person, on the other hand, if we lack integrity we lack moral intelligence by definition. We are focused on doing what we know is right.

The integrity competencies include; acting consistently with principles, values, and beliefs. Telling the truth.  Standing up for what is right, and keeping promises.

Telling the truth and leading with openness and honesty in organizations, includes defining reality under challenging circumstances. “When times are tough, leaders need to tell the truth while providing people with real reasons for hope and optimism”.

To be open and honest includes also, performance, the painful truth and standing up for what is right, and keeping promises is of huge importance and proves that we can be trusted to do what we tell to do. Author’s;” Keeping promises usually requires assistance from a few emotional competencies – the self-awareness to recognize the inconsistency between our intentions and actions and the self-control to adopt disciplined work habits that enable us to keep our promises”.

Another important key-element in trust is to honore confidence. The privacy of others is confident and the leader has a big responsibility to keep it that way. Author’s;”When leaders betray confidences, they lose more than the respect of their work associates. They also dry up valuable sources of information because their employees and colleagues learn to withhold sensitive information from a loose-lipped leader”.

Responsibility.

The difficulty we have in accepting responsibility for our behavior lies in the desire to avoid the pain of the consequences of that behavior.    M. Scott Peck

Responsibility includes; taking responsibility for personal choices, admitting mistakes and failures, and embracing responsibility for serving others.

Glenn Lopis, is a contributor for Forbes and writes about leadership, he say; “Leaders that are self-aware, are clear about their identity and expectations, have the backs of others and can be trusted – they are the ones we instinctively gravitate towards”.

Leaders need to take responsibility for their personal choices and accept that they are accountable for the results of the choices they make. Author’s; “Responsibility is a radical competency because it requires that we accept personal responsibility for everything that we do, even though we each live in a complicated world where bosses, family members and friends all exert pressure on us to act in certain ways”.

If you want to be respected as a leader it includes the willingness to take responsibility when things go wrong. An organization that does not tolerate mistakes, are not showing responsibility. Author’s; “First, admitting personal mistakes helps an organization be healthier in several ways. If you admit you screwed up, this will prevent someone else from being blamed for your mistake . Second,  admitting mistakes creates a bond with other employees who feel that you are more approachable by virtue of your admission of fallibility. Third, if you can admit mistakes, it gives a strong signal of tolerance to the organization,  we all make mistakes”.

Embracing responsibility for serving others.

Glenn Lopis; “The most memorable leaders give you the time that they don’t always have. They recognize that their employees need attention and will find a way to make the time to listen to their concerns and provide insights to the situation at hand”.

If you want employees to be happy and give their knowledge to the organization, leaders need to serve them. Author’s; “Imagine how your employees will respond  if you consistently demonstrate that your primary leadership job is to help employees accomplish their own goals”.

Compassion and Forgiveness.

Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men.    Confucius

A leader who cares about their employees makes them grow and are helping them achieving their goals. Glenn Lopis; “The leaders that are most grateful for your hard work and efforts will be the most memorable”.

The forgiveness competencies includes, letting go of one’s own mistakes, and letting go of other’s mistakes. Here, the author’s makes us aware of these two forgiveness competencies frequently considered “mirror competencies”, because they are clearly closely related. Author’s; “Some of us are much better at forgiving ourselves than others and vice versa. Many of us are hard on ourselves because of perfectionism. We can let go of other’s mistakes but hold on to our own, sometimes we are our own worst critics”.

Here the author’s makes it clear that effective leaders know that letting go of mistakes – their own and others – clears the way for better future performance.

If we cannot forgive it is impossible to relate to the people in organizations as well as in the private zone.

The moral leader are able to see the good things in people. Author’s; “Even though people are not perfect, and even though they make mistakes, most people have good intentions”.

Moral leaders are good motivators. “Moral leaders accelerate and enhance high performance by actively encouraging everyone in the organization to apply their moral principles to their individual actions while also creating organization – wide policies practices, and reward systems based on moral values”.

About morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.      Ernest Hemingway

Author, Inger Lise E Greger/Master of Science in Change Management

https://inger-lise.net/page/2/





Find Your Own Voice

12 08 2013

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.     Peter Drucker

Communication of all sorts means mastering the two conversations, the verbal and the nonverbal.

Nick Morgan, founder of Public Words Inc…., is one of America‘s top communication and speech coaches. Through his book, Trust Me, he outlines the four steps to communication success: openness, connection, passion and listening.

The purpose of this book  is to show how to structure the verbal conversations and make leaders aware of their nonverbal conversations of others. Morgan; “Once you’ve become a conscious master of the nonverbal conversation, you can learn to control it effectively by dealing with it in the realm of intent”.

In the author’s mind, nonverbal communication needs more attention and the reason is that it has been ignored by leaders too long, or treated as an accompaniment to speech. Instead, leaders are spending a huge amount of time and effort in getting their words right. Morgan; “Lawyers are paid millions to make sure that the words are not actionable. And yet the real conversation is happening all the time around them and it’s a conversation that they’re only dimly aware off”. Morgan is trying to make us aware that every communication is two conversations. If leaders speak with diffidence, ambivalence or confusion and their nonverbal conversation reveals their uncertainty, that will spread quickly to people around them, which means that leaders can’t afford this.

In connection with other people, we express ourselves by shaking our heads, we nod, roll our eyes. This is all expressions by our reactions, which show more than words can tell. Morgan; “The list goes on: duration, time, movement, action, spatial relationships, and pointing are all based in gesture”.

I just read an interesting Forbes article; Back To The Future With Face – To Face Technologywritten by, Carol Kinsey Goman, she say; “In Face -to-Face meetings, our brains process the continual cascade of nonverbal cues that we use as the basis for building trust and professional intimacy. Face-to-Face interaction is information-rich. We interpret what people say to us only partially from the words they use. We, get most of the message (and all of the emotional nuance behind the words) from vocal tone, pacing, facial expressions and body language. And we rely on immediate feedback the instantaneous responses of others-to help us gauge how well our ideas are being accepted”.

Let us take a closer look at the four steps to communication success: openness, connection, passion and listening.

Being Open.

Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there where only walls.    Joseph Campbell

To conduct an orchestra you need to know your people. But first the conductor has to be aware about his own reaction’s before he/she can learn about others. It will then get easier to gain understanding and insight in people’s need’s and wishes. (My blog; Emotions)

What we show of our feelings, our emotional performance, is heavily influenced by social conventions and the impressions we wish to convey to others. It is socially constructed. (My blog; Emotions)

Morgan; ” A communicator who is transparent about her intent almost always gets more respect and tolerance from listeners than someone who isn’t. But to achieve that kind of openness and to make it real, you have to be transparent about your values, not just your opinions”.

Nonverbal conversation depends upon trust and is even more important to openness in some ways than the verbal. Morgan;”Trust is the essential goal of an open nonverbal conversation. And it is the basis of communication”. It is therefore well worth saying more about.

Cognitive behavior and approaches is all about our thoughts, often we are caught in a pattern we have difficulties changing. We need to be open-minded toward people’s views, ideas and thoughts. (My blog; Organizational Culture )

Morgan; “The essence of trust is believing that the other party will do what he or she says and that there are no nasty surprises coming. Trust is difficult to create and almost impossible to reestablish once it has been lost”.

Our body language speaks for itself. We connect and get closer to people whom we are open with and make distance from people we are not.  The face is capable of many expressions and the variation is big. However these four open eyes, raised eyebrows, nodding, and smiling are signs to openness.

The author makes us aware that our unconscious expertise at reading others gives us that much, but not much more. Most of us are poor at reading body language if we are asked to do it consciously.

Morgan; “Openness in communication especially in nonverbal communication, is the first step toward creating authenticity and charisma as a leader. Without it, you can’t begin to connect with audiences. With openness, the rest of the steps are possible, and you can become an effective communicator”.

Connection.

Communication-the human connection-is the key to personal and career success.     Paul J. Meyer

In conversation with people we need to remember that connected communication is reciprocal. Morgan; “For the most part, people feel obligated to listen if you’ve listened to them. Some self-absorbed people never reciprocate, the golden rule is deeply baked into our psyches”.

We tend to connect more easy with people who are like us. Also we connect better with ideas, communications, and with people we perceive to be different and unusual, scarce or rare. Morgan; “we are perverse creatures and can one day ignore and the next day embrace an idea, a communication, or a person who is unusual to us”.

Not surprisingly we all unconsciously measure the distance between ourselves and other people for obvious reasons of self-protection first, and interest second in nonverbal connection.

The author makes us aware that the culture differs and has an influence on the personal space, as in Mediterranean and Asian cultures where they tend to shrink the distances, and Western cultures preserve them.

Leonardo Da Vinci astutely observed that the average person looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness, inhales without awareness of odor or fragrance, and talks without thinking. (My blog; The Art of Persuasion)

Being Passionate.

Always keep an open mind and a compassionate heart.    Phil Jackson

Conversations become interesting when you show real interest, openness and passion. Then you create trust and connection. You show your heart. Morgan; “Showing your heart to someone is neither trivial nor easy. Trust must be firmly established, and the way to do that is through openness and connection”.

Here, the author makes us aware that the nonverbal expressions of emotion are stronger than the verbal expression, and if the two are at odds, the person you’re communicating with will believe the nonverbal always.

If we take a closer look on how to be passionate nonverbally, your emotionally state plays a role. Your emotional mood has a big impact on people in your environment, whether you are in a good or bad mood. Morgan; “Sincerity of emotion shows up in nonverbal conversation through, perhaps surprisingly, stillness and openness. While the strong passions anger; joy, excitement of various kinds-can all be signaled with energetic body movements, sometimes extreme stillness can be just as effective. Think of it like the voice; the point is to establish a baseline and then vary that to exhibit the emotions”.

Listening.

When you really listen to another person from their point of view, and reflect back to them that understanding, it’s like giving them emotional oxygen.     Stephen Covey

As a leader you need to be able to listen to your colleagues, and understand their point of view. Morgan; “People need to be heard to be validated as human. We’re a social species”.

You can look at the organization like a big team, inside the team there are people with different kinds of expertise, experience, knowledge, interests and perspectives. They all depend up on each other to achieve their best. You have to cooperate, talk and discuss issues of importance within your team. Give each other room to grow  and share views and ideas, and make sure to give support and motivation to each other. (My blog; Listen more)

In emphatic listening you need to hear, see, and reflect the deeper, emotional meanings of the dialogue. Morgan; “Here you identify the emotion underneath the words and respond in kind: I understand how painful this is for you, Joseph. I too had a project go bad early in my career. It really hurts.

If you can listen emphatically to your colleagues, you are giving them signals that you are genuinely interested in what they are trying to tell you. Being a good listener is a challenge for most of us, some are good at it and others are poor at it. Without any doubt, listening skills are of huge importance if you want to build good relations. (My blog; The Art of Persuasion)

How well do we listen nonverbally and charismatically. Morgan; “People know unconsciously the moment you begin to move on in terms of listening.  They may not realize it consciously at first, but unconsciously its immediate. You’ll see responses like moving nearer, grabbing an arm, raising the voice-all the activities that people use when they want to connect or reconnect”.

The author makes us aware of the importance to listen with your whole body. “Followers who are not listened to will not follow forever”.

Written by; Inger Lise E Greger/Master of Science in Change Management

https://inger-lise.net/page/2/

More blog posts by Inger Lise E Greger








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